Saturday October 22, 2005

An e-mail forwarded by my father, origins unknown:

Dear Abby:

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does is buy big cigars and cruise around and bullshit with his pals while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college, he doesn’t even pretend to like me and hints that I am a lesbian. What should I do?!

Signed,

Clueless

+++++++++++++++++

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. For Pete’s sake, you don’t need him anymore.

You’re a United States Senator from New York. Start acting like it.

*insert rimshot here*