Friday February 24, 2006

Reason tries to figure out the philosophical geneology of neoconservatism and finds that it is a fusion of the worst of both right and left: a proselytizing, nation-building, bureaucratic government defined by “its hubris [and] its pretense to omnicompetence.” Conclusion: we’re screwed. We’re so screwed.

Sunday February 19, 2006

“Houston’s police chief on Wednesday proposed placing surveillance cameras in apartment complexes, downtown streets, shopping malls and even private homes to fight crime during a shortage of police officers.”

Paging George Orwell …

Here‘s the article w/quote.

Thursday February 16, 2006

Pitchers and catchers have reported to spring training. Winter can’t last forever … and baseball is soon at hand!

Well, actually, it’s 55 and sunny here at the moment, so I guess that’s something of a moot point. But still. All that snow from the weekend still hasn’t melted yet.

And it’s a little bit windy.

Okay, can we just have opening day now?

Wednesday February 15, 2006

So I was listening to some music while I started putting together my Master’s capstone paper (on the effects that jurisdictional fragmentation may or may not have on outcomes related to economic development — honestly, you shouldn’t have asked what it was about, should you?) and I heard a little something that had not popped into my ears for quite some time …

It’s still relevant after all these years. Tip o’ the hat to Rachel for pointing it out to me many moons ago.

“Requiem for the Masses” by The Association (1967)

Requiem aeternam, requiem aeternam

Mama, mama, forget your pies
Have faith they won’t get cold
And turn your eyes to the bloodshot sky
Your flag is flying full

At half mast, for the matadors
Who turned their backs to please the crowd
And all fell before the bull

Red was the color of his blood flowing thin
Pallid white was the color of his lifeless skin
Blue was the color of the morning sky
He saw looking up from the ground where he died
It was the last thing ever seen by him

Kyrie Eleison

Mama, mama, forget your pies
Have faith they won’t get cold
And turn your eyes to the bloodshot sky
Your flag is flying full

At half mast, for the matadors
Who turned their backs to please the crowd
And fell before the bull

Black and white were the figures that recorded him
Black and white was the newsprint he was mentioned in
Black and white was the question that so bothered him
He never asked, he was taught not to ask
But was on his lips as they buried him

Rex tremendae majestatis
Requiem aeternam, Requiem aeternam

Saturday February 11, 2006

Myers University is a growing college on the eastern edge of downtown Cleveland with a brand-new athletic program. They were told that if they sold a parking lot to the city to help with the expansion of a nearby tire factory, the university would receive a vacant lot whose last previous use was as a bakery — in 1979. Blueprints were drawn up and fundraising began for construction of a fieldhouse on that land. Turns out that the city has reneged on the deal and believes that such a deal never existed. What’s going to be built there instead? A work-release jail. Why? Councilwoman Fannie Lewis puts it rather succinctly:

“We have more men in prison than we have in college so there’s a need.”

Outstanding. In 1930, Cleveland was the sixth largest city in the nation with over 900,000 inhabitants. Now roughly half that many live there, having a population smaller than places like Albuquerque and Fresno, soon to be passed by Omaha and Virginia Beach. Even the metropolitan area has seen its population fall by 8% in the last 35 years (while land is being consumed at a exponential rate).  Whatever growth still exists there is being perpetuated by retail and real estate expansion; sooner or later, whatever jobs still remain in town will leave and the dependent sectors will collapse. Sometime in the near future, I figure there’ll be a sign draped over the Terminal Tower instructing the last person leaving town to turn out the light. If you want to know why all of this has happened, you can look to the outstanding track record of civic and economic foresight exhibited by a long line of people like Fannie Lewis.

Friday February 3, 2006

The time has come for me to make my second annual Super Bowl pick. Last year, I penciled in a 20-18 victory for New England. In addition to picking the correct team and only missing the margin of the win by one point, I also rightly predicted that wide receivers Deion Branch (the eventual MVP) and the infamous Terrell Owens would have great games. On the other hand, I was wrong about pretty much everything else that I said. Regardless, here goes my analysis and brief projected game summary:

Super Bowl XL will feature the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Seattle Seahawks, a game that no one outside of Pittsburgh or Seattle apparently wanted to see. Despite ABC’s attempt to invalidate the playoffs and replace these two teams with Indianapolis and New England, the game will be played as scheduled. Somewhat bafflingly, the Steelers are a four-point favorite, despite the fact that they were the #6 seed in the AFC, while Seattle was the #1 seed in the NFC. Pittsburgh did, however, knock off the three best playoff teams in the AFC, while Seattle only had to take out the two worst playoff teams in the NFC, both of which were severely depleted by injuries. In other words: prove it, Seattle.

Just like previous years, where the Super Bowl was played in San Diego and Miami, the NFL selected a similarly inviting locale for this year’s game: Detroit. Players have been advised to not go outside without gas masks and never to leave the government-controlled “Green Zone” without an armored Humvee and several members of the 4th Infantry Division. Regardless, one of the great storylines is that Jerome Bettis, the likely soon-to-be Hall of Fame running back for Pittsburgh, was born and raised in the Motor City. While he is typically only used now in short-yardage situations, largely replaced by Tar Heel alumnus Willie Parker, the fact that Bettis is ending his career in the biggest game of his life in his hometown is making sports commentators so full of sap that they’re blowing their nose with pancakes (joke ripped off from “The Simpsons”).

The quarterbacks, Roethlisberger (Pit) and Hasselbeck (Sea), are probably the two most underappreciated passers in the league. Shaun Alexander, the Seattle running back, won the league MVP for simply piling up a ridiculous set of statistics (1880 yards, league-record 28 TDs), but has the Peyton Manning-like “can’t win the big game” stigma. Troy Polamalu, strong safety for Pittsburgh, may very well be the greatest defensive back of our time. I could go on and on, but some of you probably have lives, hence:

There is no reason to expect a blowout here. Just because we have two teams that don’t excite anyone’s imagination beforehand doesn’t mean the game will suck (e.g. St. Louis vs. Tennessee, six years ago). All that has been talked about in this matchup is the offenses, but these two teams are quite outstanding on defense. Both quarterbacks, neither of whom has been on the Super Bowl stage, will be rattled early. The offenses will be on their shoulders, since both defenses will concentrate most of their energies on shutting down the running game. Halftime score: Seattle 10, Pittsburgh 7 — for the ‘Hawks, an short Alexander rushing TD and a field goal right before the half; for the Steelers, an end-around where wide receiver Antwaan Randle El ends up throwing the ball deep to a wide open Hines Ward over the middle for an easy score. <EDIT, 1pm Mon: Well, at least I got one prediction right. That was eerily specific, was it not?>

Roethlisberger turns up the heat in the second half, concentrating on short passes in the seams of the Seattle zone. Bettis rams in a touchdown from one yard out in the third quarter, to the delight of everyone who hyped him up all week. Seattle manages a long field goal near the end of the quarter, thanks to a costly pass interference penalty against Pittsburgh. After three quarters: Pittsburgh 14, Seattle 13.

The Steelers march right back down the field, but stall out in the red zone and kick a field goal. The teams trade punts, then Seattle starts its drive by throwing a short pass to Joe Jurevicius, who promptly spins out of a tackle and runs down the sideline before being shoved out inside the Pittsburgh 10 yard line. Alexander finishes the job two plays later, scoring the touchdown. With four minutes left, it’s Seattle 20, Pittsburgh 17.

Roethlisberger, looking like a man possessed, methodically leads the drive down the field, still focusing on short passes to (still a UNC alum) Parker and tight end Heath Miller. With under a minute left, he throws a 28-yard touchdown pass to Hines Ward, seemingly putting the Steelers ahead, but the play is called back on a holding penalty. The Pittsburgh offense is unable to recover from the setback; with only a matter of seconds left, the Steelers are forced to kick the field goal, though from a manageable 40 yards. That’s routine, especially indoors from the middle of the field. It’s up. It’s good. Pittsburgh 20, Seattle 20.

That’s right. The first overtime in Super Bowl history. Sudden death. Seattle wins the ever-important coin toss and gets the ball to start. After two incomplete passes, the Seahawks face third and ten from their own 32 yard line. Pittsburgh, set for a blitz to attack the pass, is caught off-guard when the call is a pitch to Alexander. He finds a seam, cuts back, breaks a weak tackle by a Steelers cornerback, and is off to the races. No one’s going to catch him! Touchdown! Seattle wins the Super Bowl, 26-20. Alexander wins the MVP award, Cleveland is delighted by the fact that Pittsburgh suffered such a painful demise, and the NFL is finally compelled to change overtimes to a non-sudden death format.

Disclaimer: This analysis is guaranteed only to be completely wrong, so make your bets as if Pittsburgh will win 41-3.

Thursday February 2, 2006

Someone really should tell the Muslim radicals that “Death to Denmark” really doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Death to America.” You would have thought they would have worked this out in their focus groups. In a related story, four-fifths of Americans were unable to locate Denmark on an unlabeled map.

This column generally reflects what I was going to write for a paragraph or two.

(Cliffs Notes version if you’re not going to read the links: In September, a Danish newspaper published political cartoons about Europe and Islam, one of which featured a picture of Muhammad wearing a bomb-shaped turban. Moderate outrage ensued in the Middle East — pictures of the prophet, let alone ones of an unflattering nature, are blasphemous. All of this boiled over when other European papers decided this week to re-run the cartoons in articles about the controversy, after which their respective editors were fired under pressure from publishers and/or governments. The EU office in Gaza was seized, Arab nations are withdrawing their ambassadors from Denmark, and terrorists are threatening to kidnap Europeans in Saudi Arabia and the West Bank.)

Reality check: While virtually all Americans and most Europeans believe in the immutability of rights enshrined in the First Amendment to our Constitution, it is pretty damn clear that such beliefs are not shared in the Muslim world. These beliefs are the fundamental basis for a republican form of government. Without this, you get terrorists (Palestine) and WMD-toting Holocaust deniers (Iran) elected in landslides and poorly-conceived U.S. enterprises like our nation-building effort over in Iraq. Just ask George W. Bush from six years ago.* In most cases, democracy came to be when citizens of a nation came to realize its potential to bring about peace and prosperity. Democracy is not a panacea, as Tucker Carlson pointed out on MSNBC after the State of the Union: “Democracy is not an end, it’s a mechanism.  It’s a means to good government.  And the end is good government, and when you listen to the president speak in this very utopian way … you really get the impression that he believes democracy is the final goal, and that’s just not true.”

We have removed a secular dictator who did not have the weapons we feared he had, only to replace him with a government that wishes to install a Shiite theocracy allied with Iran, which will soon have those weapons of mass destruction. Methinks the technical word for that is “whoops.” It is time to accept that the war in Iraq cannot be won because there is no way to win. The cause of the insurgency there is our presence, so we cannot destroy the insurgency. (Seems simple to me.) Democracy cannot be forced on a nation that does not want it and does not share Lockeian ideals. If the Iraqis want a civil war, then it is a civil war they should get. If the new Iraq becomes a haven for al-Qaeda and other extremists, then at least we’ll get a do-over, a chance to handle this like Afghanistan — largely with air power and in a way that does not lead to a prolonged occupation.

Discussion, as always, is highly welcome.

* Partial Transcript – 2000 Presidential Debate #1 (emphasis mine)

JIM LEHRER: How would you go about as president deciding when it was in the national interest to use U.S. force, generally?

GOV. BUSH: Well, if it’s in our vital national interest, and that means whether our territory is threatened or people could be harmed, whether or not the alliances are … threatened. That would be a time to seriously consider the use of force. Secondly, whether or not the mission was clear. Whether or not it was a clear understanding as to what the mission would be. Thirdly, whether or not we were prepared and trained to win. Whether or not our forces were of high morale and high standing and well-equipped. And finally, whether or not there was an exit strategy. I would take the use of force very seriously. I would be guarded in my approach. I don’t think we can be all things to all people in the world. I think we’ve got to be very careful when we commit our troops. [VP Gore] and I have a disagreement about the use of troops. He believes in nation building. I would be very careful about using our troops as nation builders.